I have been really struggling the last week with my disability, so this post may look a little different from normal. After the writing conference I went to, I could feel some strain injuries in my shoulders and pectoral muscles. When my monthly seizure window joined the party, I really avoided writing or doing much besides listening. I watched YouTube videos ranging from many creators complaining about double standards to tarot card readings from some of my favorite readers to listening to therapists talk about how to improve your life.
Somewhere in the middle of this, I ended up spending some time listening to Denise Duffield-Thomas talking about Sacred Money Archetypes. It hit me; I put a lot of energy into my life to make sure my disability wasn’t a burden to others. Not only was this habit showing up in how I allowed myself to exist in the world, I could also feel it in my strain injuries. I realized I hurt because I turned down help that would have prevented me from hurting myself. I tried so hard to be self sufficient that I let myself get hurt. And this trend is something I see again and again. I worry so much about not being a burden that I make life worse for myself. This week, I’m going to do something different. I am going to leave this update up in place of a post.
If you struggle with a disability, I hope you can take away from this that you are a valuable human being and that your disability doesn’t take away from that. It’s okay to accept help. You don’t need to prove yourself to anyone. If they can’t see how special you are because of your disability, it’s their loss.